funny quotes pics

When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the World Wide Web.... Now even my cat has its own page. ~Bill Clinton, 1996



Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. ~Quentin Crisp



All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. ~Jane Wagner, The Search For Intelligent Life In The Universe, performed by Lily Tomlin



There go my people. I must find out where they are going so I can lead them. ~Alexandre Ledru-Rollin



Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. ~Albert Einstein



If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. ~Thomas Alva Edison



An inability to stay quiet is one of the most conspicuous failings of mankind. ~Walter Bagehot



Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos. ~Don Kardong



There are offences given and offences not given but taken. ~Izaak Walton



The more you sweat in practice, the less you bleed in battle. ~Author Unknown



Sometimes I do a little mental skipping, just to shake things up in my mind. ~Jessi Lane Adams



One joy scatters a hundred griefs. ~Chinese Proverb



How can I control my life when I can't control my hair? ~Author Unknown



I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids. ~Kyle, "Death," original airdate 17 September 1997, written by Trey Parker & Matt Stone



If there be a hell upon earth, it is to be found in a melancholy man's heart. ~Robert Burton, The Anatomy of Melancholy



To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it the more fit for its prime function of looking forward. ~Margaret Fairless Barber, The Roadmender To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it the more fit for its prime function of looking forward. ~Margaret Fairless Barber, The Roadmender



I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day. ~Elwyn Brooks White



Unto those Three Things which the Ancients held impossible, there should be added this Fourth, to find a Book Printed without erratas. ~Alfonso de Cartagena



Where is the good in goodbye? ~Meredith Willson, The Music Man (Thanks, Thomas)



We wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment. ~Hilaire Belloc