funny quotes about kids

In order to know whether a human being is young or old, offer it food of different kinds at short intervals. If young, it will eat anything at any hour of the day or night. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes



At some point in my life, I swallowed a Sun. And now it dawns and sets in my belly. ~Erika Harris, lifeblazing.com



Philosophy cannot raise the commonalty up to her level: so, if she is to become popular, she must sink to theirs. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827



This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. ~George Bernard Shaw



The different branches of Arithmetic - Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision. ~Lewis Carroll



Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other. ~Ed Howe



No member of a crew is praised for the rugged individuality of his rowing. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



God not only sends special angels into our lives, but sometimes He even sends them back again if we forget to take notes the first time! ~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994



Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



What goes around comes around, just like a flip turn. ~Author Unknown



To say yes, you have to sweat and roll up your sleeves and plunge both hands into life up to the elbows. It is easy to say no, even if saying no means death. ~Jean Anouilh, Antigone, 1942



A mind devoid of prepossessions is likely to be devoid of all mental furniture. And the historian who thinks that he can clean his mind as he would a slate with a wet sponge, is ignorant of the simplest facts of mental life. ~Allen Johnson, The Historian and Historical Evidence



To sit alone in the lamplight with a book spread out before you, and hold intimate converse with men of unseen generations - such is a pleasure beyond compare. ~Kenko Yoshida



Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. ~Confucius



So what good are all these fruitless discussions; for in the eternal battle of the sexes, we are always conquered - and we can do nothing about it - and none of us as yet, be he misogynist or feminist, has found a more perfect instrument of pleasure, or any other means of reproduction, than woman. ~"The Manuscript"



A woman is like a tea bag. It's only when she's in hot water that you realize how strong she is. ~Attributed to both Eleanor Roosevelt and Carl Sandburg



other animals? ~Attributed to George Bernard Shaw



Anyone who believes that anything can be suited to everyone is a great fool, because medicine is practised not on mankind in general, but on every individual in particular. ~Henri de Mondeville



An "unemployed" existence is a worse negation of life than death itself. ~Jose Ortega y Gasset



Whether we are filled with joy or grief, our angels are close to us, speaking to our hearts of God's love. ~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994