funny poems for friends

Owning your burdens is half the battle. ~From the television show Scrubs



If the Stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore; and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! But every night come out these envoys of beauty, and light the universe with their admonishing smile. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



Santa Claus has the right idea: Visit people once a year. ~Victor Borge



Indigestion is charged by God with enforcing morality on the stomach. ~Victor Hugo



I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones. ~John Cage



What I like in a good author is not what he says, but what he whispers. ~Logan Pearsall Smith, "All Trivia," Afterthoughts, 1931



Every baby needs a lap. ~Henry Robin



To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it. ~Confucius



Pregnancy is a disease from which you recover in 18 years and 9 months. ~Carrie Latet



Superstition is to religion what astrology is to astronomy: the mad daughter of a wise mother. ~Voltaire



The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. ~G.K. Chesterton



Philosophers, for the most part, are constitutionally timid, and dislike the unexpected. Few of them would be genuinely happy as pirates or burglars. Accordingly they invent systems which make the future calculable, at least in its main outlines. ~Bertrand Russell



In general, my children refused to eat anything that hadn't danced on TV. ~Erma Bombeck



Music is forever; music should grow and mature with you, following you right on up until you die. ~Paul Simon



Our forefathers did without sugar until the 13th century, without coal fires until the 14th, without buttered bread until the 16th, without tea or soup until the 17th, without gas, matches or electricity until the 20th. ~Author Unknown



Skipping subtracts years from your heart, adds joy to your life, multiplies your happiness, and divides your stress. It's a prime exercise, and I count it among one of my greatest blessings. ~Jessi Lane Adams



Don't think you're on the right road just because it�s a well-beaten path. ~Author Unknown



Ordinarily, a person leaving a courtroom with a conviction behind him would wear a somber face. But I left with a smile. I knew that I was a convicted criminal, but I was proud of my crime. ~Martin Luther King, Jr., March 22, 1956



Parents are not interested in justice; they are interested in quiet. ~Bill Cosby



Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same. ~G.B. Shaw, "Maxims for Revolutionists," 1898