A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed. ~George Rosenbaum
Happiness is distraction from the human tragedy. ~J.M. Reinoso
I regularly read Internet user groups filled with messages from people trying to solve software incompatibility problems that, in terms of complexity, make the U.S. Tax Code look like Dr. Seuss. ~Dave Barry
Holidays are enticing only for the first week or so. After that, it is no longer such a novelty to rise late and have little to do. ~Margaret Laurence
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it. ~P.J. O'Rourke
If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. ~Attributed to Claudia Ghandi If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. ~Attributed to Claudia Ghandi
A year from now you may wish you had started today. ~Karen Lamb
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance! ~Andy McIntyre
Cats have an infallible understanding of total concentration - and get between you and it. ~Arthur Bridges
There is in every village a torch - the teacher; and an extinguisher - the clergyman. ~Victor Hugo
Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up. ~Bill Vaughn
I've been looking over the list of spring chores I made up last fall, and darned if they aren't fall chores, after all. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running. ~Author unknown, in reference to Ecclesiastes 9:11, "I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all."
Battles, in these ages, are transacted by mechanism; with the slightest possible development of human individuality or spontaneity; men now even die, and kill one another, in an artificial manner. ~Thomas Carlyle, The French Revolution, vol 1, book VII, chapter 4
We tear life out of life to use it for looking at itself. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin
The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race. ~Don Marquis
Cat lovers can readily be identified. Their clothes always look old and well used. Their sheets look like bath towels and their bath towels look like a collection of knitting mistakes. ~Eric Gurney
What we see depends mainly on what we look for. ~John Lubbock
There is no strong performance without a little fanaticism in the performer. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Our only hope for the redemption of woman from the thralldom of dress lies in the belief that her hitherto limited sphere of activities has been so insufficient for her intellectual occupations that she has been forced to expend her thoughts in decorating her person, instead of enlarging her mind. ~Mercy B. Jackson
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. ~Carl Zwanzig
Many a person has held close, throughout their entire lives, two friends that always remained strange to one another, because one of them attracted by virtue of similarity, the other by difference. ~Emil Ludwig
God's will is not an itinerary, but an attitude. ~Andrew Dhuse
And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest. ~Psalms 55:6