funny quotes of the day

Tooth decay was a perennial national problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. ~Claudia Wallis Top off the tea... it lubricates the grey matter. ~Good Neighbors, quoted from stashtea.com



One must look hard through history to find when a clear understanding of the truth moved anyone to fire the first shot. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



Cats as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by that fact that in Ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods. ~P.G. Wodehouse



I regret less the road not taken than my all-fired hurry along the road I took. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ~Mignon McLaughlin



Never assume the obvious is true. ~William Safire, Sleeper Spy



Just as we outgrow a pair of trousers, we outgrow acquaintances, libraries, principles, etc., at times before they're worn out and times - and this is the worst of all - before we have new ones. ~G.C. Lichtenberg



A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown



The first man who, having enclosed a piece of ground, bethought himself of saying This is mine, and found people simple enough to believe him, was the real founder of civil society. From how many crimes, wars and murders, from how many horrors and misfortunes might not anyone have saved mankind, by pulling up the stakes, or filling up the ditch, and crying to his fellows, "Beware of listening to this impostor; you are undone if you once forget that the fruits of the earth belong to us all, and the earth itself to nobody." ~Jean Jacques Rousseau, A Discourse on the Origin of Inequality The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you're the easiest person to fool. ~Richard Feynman



Morality is a private and costly luxury. ~Henry B. Adams, The Education of Henry Adams



Angels are never too distant to hear you. ~Author Unknown



The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity. ~Andre Gide



Education should be exercise; it has become massage. ~Martin H. Fischer



If we accept and acquiesce in the face of discrimination, we accept the responsibility ourselves and allow those responsible to salve their conscience by believing that they have our acceptance and concurrence. We should, therefore, protest openly everything... that smacks of discrimination or slander. ~Mary McLeod Bethune



A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. ~Hugh Downs



When it comes to having a central nervous system, and the ability to feel pain, hunger, and thirst, a rat is a pig is a dog is a boy. ~Ingrid Newkirk



When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Victor Frankl



A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life. ~James Allen



What puzzles most of us are the things which have been left in the movies rather than the things which have been taken out. ~Agnes Repplier



The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't being said. ~Author Unknown