So what good are all these fruitless discussions; for in the eternal battle of the sexes, we are always conquered - and we can do nothing about it - and none of us as yet, be he misogynist or feminist, has found a more perfect instrument of pleasure, or any other means of reproduction, than woman. ~"The Manuscript"
Boredom is like a pitiless zooming in on the epidermis of time. Every instant is dilated and magnified like the pores of the face. ~Charlotte Whitton
Researchers at Harvard say that taking a power nap for an hour in the afternoon can totally refresh you. They say that by the time you wake up you'll feel so good, you'll be able to start looking for a new job. ~Jay Leno
Ultimately, aren't we all just talking monkeys with an attitude problem? ~"Uncle" Ben, as seen on quotes?r?us.org
Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too. ~Author unknown, attributed to an 8-year-old named Greg
Asking a seamstress to mend is like asking Michelangelo to paint your garage. ~Author Unknown
Some folks are wise and some are otherwise. ~Tobias Smollett
I... recommend to every one of my Readers, the keeping a Journal of their Lives for one Week, and setting down punctually their whole Series of Employments during that Space of Time. This kind of Self-Examination would give them a true State of themselves, and incline them to consider seriously what they are about. One Day would rectifie the Omissions of another, and make a Man weigh all those indifferent Actions, which, though they are easily forgotten, must certainly be accounted for. ~Joseph Addison, 1712
Business is a combination of war and sport. ~Andre Maurois
No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means. ~George Bernard Shaw
Man simply cannot live as the time-animal and the art-animal that he is, without history. ~Carlton J.H. Hayes
Sex is interesting, but it's not totally important. I mean it's not even as important (physically) as excretion. A man can go seventy years without a piece of ass, but he can die in a week without a bowel movement. ~Charles Bukowski, Notes on a Dirty Old Man
The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen. ~Tommy Smothers
I eat merely to put food out of my mind. ~N.F. Simpson
If you judge people you have no time to love them. ~Mother Teresa
It is better to keep one's mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and resolve all doubt. ~Abraham Lincoln
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck
Courage, in the final analysis, is nothing but an affirmative answer to the shocks of existence. ~Kurt Goldstein
Good as it is to inherit a library, it is better to collect one. ~Augustine Birrell, Obiter Dicta, "Book Buying"
The greatest gift of the garden is the restoration of the five senses. ~Hanna Rion
Sport is where an entire life can be compressed into a few hours, where the emotions of a lifetime can be felt on an acre or two of ground, where a person can suffer and die and rise again on six miles of trails through a New York City park. Sport is a theater where sinner can turn saint and a common man become an uncommon hero, where the past and the future can fuse with the present. Sport is singularly able to give us peak experiences where we feel completely one with the world and transcend all conflicts as we finally become our own potential. ~George A. Sheehan
The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want. ~Ben Stein
Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation...tooting, howling, screeching, booming, crashing, whistling, grinding, and trilling bolster his ego. His anxiety subsides. His inhuman void spreads monstrously like a gray vegetation. ~Jean Arp
Two-legged creatures we are supposed to love as we love ourselves. The four-legged, also, can come to seem pretty important. But six legs are too many from the human standpoint. ~Joseph W. Krutch U.S. consumers and industry dispose of enough aluminum to rebuild the commercial air fleet every three months; enough iron and steel to continuously supply all automakers; enough glass to fill New York's World Trade Center every two weeks. ~Environmental Defense Fund advertisement, Christian Science Monitor, 1990