funny quotes and sayings about men

Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. ~Robert Orben



I keep my end tables full of needlework and quilting so I don't have to dust them. ~Author Unknown



Tobacco, divine, rare superexcellent tobacco, which goes far beyond all panaceas, potable gold and philosopher's stones, a sovereign remedy to all diseases. ~Robert Burton, Anatomy of Melancholy



If you shut your door to all errors truth will be shut out. ~Rabindranath Tagore, Stray Birds, 1916



A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around. ~E.W. Howe



Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience. ~George-Louis de Buffon



Golf is the cruelest of sports. Like life, it's unfair. It's a harlot. A trollop. It leads you on. It never lives up to its promises.... It's a boulevard of broken dreams. It plays with men. And runs off with the butcher. ~Jim Murray



Yes, I am positive that one of the great curatives of our evils, our maladies, social, moral, and intellectual, would be a return to the soil, a rehabilitation of the work of the fields. ~Charles Wagner



The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. ~James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion, 1926



Man never knows what he wants; he aspires to penetrate mysteries and as soon as he has, he wants to reestablish them. Ignorance irritates him and knowledge cloys. ~Amiel, Journal, 1884



The best way to a fisherman's heart is through his fly. ~Author Unknown



You know you are getting old when it takes too much effort to procrastinate. ~Author Unknown



Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. ~Mark Twain



We cannot, by total reliance on law, escape the duty to judge right and wrong.... There are good laws and there are occasionally bad laws, and it conforms to the highest traditions of a free society to offer resistance to bad laws, and to disobey them. ~Alexander Bickel



You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets. ~Nora Ephron



Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes, but I'll work it out... ~Dave Matthews, "Dancing Nancies"



We can't all be Washingtons, but we can all be patriots. ~Charles F. Browne



I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behind. ~George Bernard Shaw, 28 August 1896



When we see a natural style we are quite amazed and delighted, because we expected to see an author and find a man. ~Blaise Pascal, Pensees, 1670



Life is an incurable Disease. ~Abraham Cowley